An Absolutely Hilarious Weather Report from Britain

Comic relief in one minute and 22 seconds

My wife found this:

https://www.facebook.com/1368067509/videos/217211284254583

Thanks to dar, who posted the transcript in the comment section, here is the transcript:

Hello and good afternoon.

It looks like a cold start to this week with chemtrails blowing in

from the southeast

making those nasty blue skies into a lovely milky haze.

Further up towards the north of Scotland

where it was going to be really bright and sunny today.

You may now see

some cloud appear. Usually behind a fleet of airplanes

and that will bring wind and hail and maybe even a touch of unmeltable snow.

A look further into the week

sees modified storms battering that northern coast

so

don't forget your happy pills if you're planning on travelling.

Towards Fry low pressure remains

and it will be blue skies and sunshine across the UK.

If you live above the cloud layer,

you can expect to see highs of about whatever we say on the day.

We have had some great pictures sent in from you guys at home

of some newly invented crisscross clouds

that just look magical there.

Speeding across the sky like an angel's wings,

thanks

to Liam from the whirl for that picture.

This next photo was sent in by someone who forgot to leave their name

but shows what us meteorologists here at the weather station

call a blanket of poisonous smog cloud

and

this is caused when low pressure is altered with atmospheric heaters

and jet stream manipulation.

Taking a look at the pollen count now

which remains typically low for this time of year.

Unlike the nanoparticle swarms of invisible smart dust

though which will engulf almost everywhere

so be careful

if you plan on breathing air.

Back to the Phil and the rest of the pedophiles at the studio.

Paul Black added the following in another comment:

Couple of transcript corrections. Fry should be Friday and Whirl is Wirral (an area near Liverpool). Made me snigger. Phil (Schofield) is an ex kids TV host now on Breakfast TV who groomed a kid he knew from age 8, got him a job as a runner and.... by the way his brother apparently just got arrested as another nonce in the family....