The Good News
You have been served
In order to avoid being accused of negativity, I have collected some good news, and I am ready to share the results.
MSN.com reported that according to Yahoo Life, “Forever chemicals will no longer be in your microwave popcorn bags and fast food wrappers”:
No kidding.
While I’m at forever chemicals, I have also been informed by Zojirushi that it’s considered “normal tear and wear” for their eighty-dollar non-stick pots in its hundred-and-sixty-dollar rice cookers to be scratched by the plastic spatula that comes with the units, and the coating poses no danger to human health. Phew… What a relief!
The following video thankfully confirms that I am a slave in a tax farm:
https://www.instagram.com/p/C2nogyHuPWo/
One fewer thing to worry about!
A source from Fakebook ensures me that a no-emission vehicle uses only 500 thousand pounds of materials for a 1,000 pound battery, and burning 100-300 barrels of oil is enough to manufacture energy that a single barrel would produce! Woohoo! I didn’t know I was this lucky! A mere 10-40 tons of carbon emissions are more than enough to produce a battery, and Lithium, Cobalt, and Zinc mining will create new jobs! Scarcity could increase prices by 40 to 400 fold, but there is no progress without sacrifice, eh? After all, you can always trust Elon Musk, another three-letter plant after Zuckerberg and his Fakebook, when you are in doubt:
And to put your mind to final rest, remember that nobody will need a vehicle in the future paradises of 15-minute cities!
For times of true despair, my wife found the following video clips of dogs; watching them can revive hope in the world, or at least in some canines:
https://www.facebook.com/WoofWorldTV/videos/944680990507962/
Bitcoin shows that digital currencies can have value, so there is no need to be afraid of the CBDC. You don’t need to read this article to arrive at this conclusion, but I’m including the link for more fun. Just follow the author’s conclusions and invest in Bitcoin; I dare you:
For true enlightenment, listen to Turdeau, who bravely announced to the public hitherto left in the dark that “Canadians say NO to making Canada great again”:
https://www.facebook.com/reel/430797149296127
More good news about poor people’s diet: it is now forced to become healthier, because they can’t afford to go to McDonalds anymore:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SMslf5albGs
Hawaii neighbor Kiribati gets Chinese police, which is ensuring me that there will never be a shortage of those wonderful officers securing law and order! Well, some of them might be missing a badge or two, but what the heck:
The other day, from a reader’s comment helping me out with a link, I also learned that Hell’s Angels was a CIA progeny and the counterculture of the 1960s was also initiated by the same entities with honeypot mass gatherings, which reminds me of Substack. I am still relieved, because none of my neighbors will have to report me:
https://www.bitchute.com/video/FVK9odmHMKr7/
How good to know that there will be always some secret establishment to care for me!
And relax, if you are concerned about 5G. The AFP Fact Check assures everyone that “5G networks do not cause ‘flu-like’ symptoms.” That’s comforting; I guess, I won’t need a flu shot, if I live or work near a tower:
https://factcheck.afp.com/doc.afp.com.9XB239
And it gets better and better. Most politicians have a law degree, but their path is being smoothened for the future. As a heroic first step to ensuring equity, where everybody will be allowed to stay as stupid as they were born to be, Washington State is on its way to phasing out the bar exam:
Not that “diversity” has been lacking until now; it was only a question of how crooked, lazy, or stupid most lawyers were. In Ohio, which is what I was familiar with in the 90s, the bar exam passing rate was one in three. In spite of that, when I needed a lawyer, I was better off with paying a paralegal and hiring the cheapest lawyer (representing oneself only angers judges, which can determine the outcome of a court case) only to tell them what to do in court. Shakespeare already projected in Henry VI, Part II, Act IV, Scene II, Line 73,
I guess, it’s never too late.
Finally, if all this disturbs your peace of mind, you might be able to hire a “Peace teacher” to pacify you. Children in America are now getting their dose of “peace”:
https://www.usip.org/public-education/educators/peace-teachers-program
Positions are available for those who have lost their jobs during the lockdowns!
End of storytime. Not by a drag queen, but nothing is perfect.
Damnit Ray!! I want my drag queen!
Deeee-niiiiiiiiiieddd 😝
Thanks for this. Needed my daily injection of snark. Well done 👍🏼
In other good news, lawyers wealth up 57%, life expectancy down, 21%.
A fair trade!