Reminds me of the 4 Musketeers in my life, Dean (hub), Jon (sickly) and Ray (the wheeler dealer) from grade school. Jon was the only 4 F during the Draft. Then enter Wayne (never shy) 40 years friendship. He passed about 8 years ago. Both are greatly missed.
My middle sis is mine. Though we seldom see each other due to my age and her hubs' advanced
and I think of my maternal Grandmother, Phyllis, who lived for more than 30 years after her husband died. My Grandfather, Nickelous, died right around when I was born so I always felt a bit cheated about that. And my Grandmother was very much of the sort who did not remarry. In the day, you didn't remarry, and that is quite something to think about.
Women, as a rule, outlive men. Perhaps they can take it more than the other way around. Still, men also live an average of 10 years longer, if they have a wife. I am grateful to have a wife, who proved the statistics in 2023. :)
Old/widowed women have been in trouble in Judaism as well as Christianity or even Islam, but these days (and I'm unsure how far that goes back), the late husband's pension might support the wife quite a bit, but I'm not sure how many widows are aware of the option.
for backstory, Phyllis and Nickelous met in Canada but were both Romanian citizens who immigrated to Canada. They were actually from the same city in Romania, (Grandma left in 1915 or so), Bucharest, but only met in Saskatchewan or such. I am a bit unclear on the where's but they ended up in Saskatchewan and then Timmins Ontario in the early 1950s where my parents married and had all their kids but me. I was the late addition in Detroit Michigan, though I am Canadian by inception. Which I feel is more important. I have one picture of Phyllis and Nickelous, they are sitting on a couch in Windsor, Canada. It's on the mantle.
Thanks Ray. "Secret" to a happy marriage? Simple! Just know how to say "Yes Dear" in a sincere & convincing way, when your wife asks or orders you to do anything..
Then! Never ever do the that thing immediately. Or you'll be jiggered forever!
ONLY IN AN EMERGENCY! The sink water pipe broke type.
But it should go both ways, but rarely does. We both are working on maggiage 3, three years as friends and dinner companions, 17 years married this Sept. 2nd nusband was the Love of my life, 33 years, we knew with the first date. Massive heartattack at 57. I draw my SS off his acct. No math genious needed to know $1,100, was better than $350.
I was widowed more than 7 years ago. But still, before going to sleep every night, I whisper: "I love you, my Hugo". And I hear perfectly inside me what he always answered me: "And I adore you, my little girl"...
Together with him, I confirmed what I always believed: that soul mates are not a legend, but a fact. And now that he is no longer physically with me, I confirmed that death is unreal when love is real.
You just know that your loved one is not "dead"... that he can't be.
That's why the pain in me for his absence disappeared to a great extent... because I realized that there is no such "absence" for my heart.
"Where, Oh death, is your sting? Where is your victory?"
This was beautiful Ray and when I scrolled down to the picture I burst into tears, tears of joy though for what they have/had and what I am so lucky to have as well.
Oh, after reading, I am doubly envious. I know the pain, but you had something most of us do not.
We will grieve with you. Treat yourself gently...you are in shock. You have been in an accident and have lost part of your heart, your arms, your mind, yourself. This is the worst that could ever happen Be extremly gentle...and mourn.
Thank you. You guys/girls are always in my prayers.
Yes, we are blessed. I was ready for this relationship 40 years ago and my was was also ready 30 years ago. As I told my father 15 minutes before he died, "It's never late."
At the age of 17, I swore I would never love out of fear, yet my weaknesses were hidden along with the fears that would come with them. All those fears cannot overcome those who love...
This is lovely and I too wish the kind of marriage you have for everyone. Thank you for letting me know there is still commitment out there. As well as common sense and respect. I thank you again.
So, Ray, is the first picture really you? or is it Steigel?
Good question. Not sure, but I believe you can go for your best guess! :)
How about my Valentine Day message?
https://rayhorvaththesource.substack.com/p/what-is-love-a-warning-for-valentines
Reminds me of the 4 Musketeers in my life, Dean (hub), Jon (sickly) and Ray (the wheeler dealer) from grade school. Jon was the only 4 F during the Draft. Then enter Wayne (never shy) 40 years friendship. He passed about 8 years ago. Both are greatly missed.
My middle sis is mine. Though we seldom see each other due to my age and her hubs' advanced
Duchenne MD.
The Generation Z don't know wat loyalty is.
Beautiful
My wife is, but none of us is perfect. :)
and I think of my maternal Grandmother, Phyllis, who lived for more than 30 years after her husband died. My Grandfather, Nickelous, died right around when I was born so I always felt a bit cheated about that. And my Grandmother was very much of the sort who did not remarry. In the day, you didn't remarry, and that is quite something to think about.
Women, as a rule, outlive men. Perhaps they can take it more than the other way around. Still, men also live an average of 10 years longer, if they have a wife. I am grateful to have a wife, who proved the statistics in 2023. :)
Old/widowed women have been in trouble in Judaism as well as Christianity or even Islam, but these days (and I'm unsure how far that goes back), the late husband's pension might support the wife quite a bit, but I'm not sure how many widows are aware of the option.
for backstory, Phyllis and Nickelous met in Canada but were both Romanian citizens who immigrated to Canada. They were actually from the same city in Romania, (Grandma left in 1915 or so), Bucharest, but only met in Saskatchewan or such. I am a bit unclear on the where's but they ended up in Saskatchewan and then Timmins Ontario in the early 1950s where my parents married and had all their kids but me. I was the late addition in Detroit Michigan, though I am Canadian by inception. Which I feel is more important. I have one picture of Phyllis and Nickelous, they are sitting on a couch in Windsor, Canada. It's on the mantle.
Thanks Ray. "Secret" to a happy marriage? Simple! Just know how to say "Yes Dear" in a sincere & convincing way, when your wife asks or orders you to do anything..
Then! Never ever do the that thing immediately. Or you'll be jiggered forever!
Do the whatever eventually!
ONLY IN AN EMERGENCY! The sink water pipe broke type.
But it should go both ways, but rarely does. We both are working on maggiage 3, three years as friends and dinner companions, 17 years married this Sept. 2nd nusband was the Love of my life, 33 years, we knew with the first date. Massive heartattack at 57. I draw my SS off his acct. No math genious needed to know $1,100, was better than $350.
haha, That is my husband. :)
Thank you for sharing with us.
To love and be loved. This is what it’s all about. May we all be so blessed 💕
I was widowed more than 7 years ago. But still, before going to sleep every night, I whisper: "I love you, my Hugo". And I hear perfectly inside me what he always answered me: "And I adore you, my little girl"...
Together with him, I confirmed what I always believed: that soul mates are not a legend, but a fact. And now that he is no longer physically with me, I confirmed that death is unreal when love is real.
You just know that your loved one is not "dead"... that he can't be.
That's why the pain in me for his absence disappeared to a great extent... because I realized that there is no such "absence" for my heart.
"Where, Oh death, is your sting? Where is your victory?"
Blessings.
This was beautiful Ray and when I scrolled down to the picture I burst into tears, tears of joy though for what they have/had and what I am so lucky to have as well.
Oh, after reading, I am doubly envious. I know the pain, but you had something most of us do not.
We will grieve with you. Treat yourself gently...you are in shock. You have been in an accident and have lost part of your heart, your arms, your mind, yourself. This is the worst that could ever happen Be extremly gentle...and mourn.
Apologies, but it was Stiegel who lost his wife...
You're one of the lucky ones. May you be blessed with many more years together. Cheers!
Thank you. You guys/girls are always in my prayers.
Yes, we are blessed. I was ready for this relationship 40 years ago and my was was also ready 30 years ago. As I told my father 15 minutes before he died, "It's never late."
Only those of us so blessed know our secret fears.
At the age of 17, I swore I would never love out of fear, yet my weaknesses were hidden along with the fears that would come with them. All those fears cannot overcome those who love...
You're blessed to know such a love, as was Stegiel.
When C.S. Lewis lost his beloved wife, he wrote. "The pain I feel now is the happiness I knew before. That's the deal."
That pretty much sums up the inexpressible.
It does. He knew the fourth type of love.
42 years later I love her as much as the day we kissed the first time.
Thanks for sharing Ray.
First time, last time; it is the same between two loving people...
https://youtu.be/iB2pPCydEjs
Sometimes it's easier expressed in music.
Thank you for this, for sharing your love and your love story.
Thank you kindly.
This is lovely and I too wish the kind of marriage you have for everyone. Thank you for letting me know there is still commitment out there. As well as common sense and respect. I thank you again.
What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. :)
I guess, it's my mom's heritage.