There are men I would like to be a companion with, but they want "extra benefits" which I don't want to share with them. I find it kind of sad. Would love the male companionship, just not that other stuff.,
I have experienced the scorned woman for avoiding her initiations. It's like refuse them and you automatically become an outcast to be thrown off the planet. There may be many reasons for delaying engagement at that particular time. But for many women, it's now or never when they come after your attention. Yet, a man is supposed to take rejection after rejection and never complain.
Doesn't matter now. I'm too old to worry about these things. Besides, my S/O deserves my full attention.
And: The term “romantic love” seems to have been coined by 19th century literary critic Gaston Paris to denote a particular constellation of attitudes and patterns of behavior that characterized a body of literature arising in Provence in the 12th century (Paris, 1883). Amour courtois (Courtly love) had the following general attributes: an elevation of the status of the woman, a suffering caused by passionate attraction to and separation from the beloved, and a transformation of the lovers which elevates them onto a separate plane of existence, the world of lovers, in which life is experienced more intensely (Paris, 1883). Originally considered a uniquely European phenomenon (Doi, 1973; Hsu, 1985; Stone, 1989), more recent research has shown precursors and analogues of romantic love in Plato’s dialogues, Islamic culture, and ancient Indian writings.
In current scholarship romantic love sounds like a fuzzy concept that is used in literature in broad meaning, being often replaced by passionate love and sexual attraction as synonyms. They all have a lot in common, but still are different. They have to be distinguished for the question of cross-cultural universality of romantic love. Romantic love is the form of love that is most salient in public view, but it has different subcategories; some of them are related to sexual love. Sexuality is not identical with love; however it can become one of the ways that love is experienced and expressed in relationships.
The notion of romantic love as a mixture of sexual desire and affection is paramount in Havelock Ellis’ many-volumes Study in the Psychology of Sex (1897-1928). Ellis concluded that the love is best viewed as a mixture of lust and friendship which includes tenderness and affection. He views romantic love as more than just sexual desire, although he found sexual desire to be an important part of romantic love (1933/1963, p. 234).
Lmao. Seriously? Any woman so insecure as to be incapable of surmounting a civil rejection probably has the emotional stability of Alex “I will not be ignored, Dan!” Forrest and the sooner the discouragement, the better. Subscribe to my Substack
It’s merely a mercenary signature ad. But if in the market for a starter kit - or some pound of flesh - one can visit this consolidating grievance piece:
My late husband was from a family of 12. Apart from 3 sons who left their country young, all marriages were arranged and they're all still going strong. I'm from family of 6 and only 2 of the marriages survived. It's also much easier in a muslim family for a man to find a wife even if he's got very little going for him. Just an observation.
If people who love both parties arrange the marriage, they can offer lot better advice than the ones currently "in love." I'm not an expert on Muslim marriages.
I’ve worked with men my entire life. I never had a problem. I’m an ex-Teamster and retired deputy sheriff. I retired (forced) two years ago. Men and women need to understand one another. No one is right or wrong. We simply see things differently. And it’s frustrating sometimes! Women think men don’t care (they do in their own way), and men think women are all crazy (they are).
Marrying early is the old recipe that worked well in stable environments. I can still remember the first little girl I immediately fell into love with, and I know myself; I would have never abandoned her, but her jealous girlfriend took us away from each other. Granted, I was EXTREMELY immature at 19, and I probably need another 190 years to go, but that's all right by now.
However, women need stability (it's biological, unless I'm mistaken), and in today's world, anything can change in five minutes. I realize that's a different story.
Your #2 is apparently what I've always practiced without knowing it. Thank you for helping me out! :)
Thank you, corrected. I have a morbid memory about that. At one point, I used to pass a cemetery, and a huge tombstone rose above the wall, with a single word etched on it, "Deady."
THE MAN!!!! If you’re attracted to a woman, flirt with her, compliment her...it’s not rocket science! Nature takes care of the rest.
I feel so sorry for the last couple of generations, sometimes.
And be open to everything, maybe someone you wouldn’t normally think of dating.
I’m older than he is. It’s not about age, necessarily. We celebrated our 8 year anniversary in May. If I knew how old he was, I may not have gone out with him.
I’m immature and he’s mature...great balance! Lol!
Last few generations, definitely. As I said, the dilution of the conditions for a realistic connubial bliss may have started a lot earlier.
Of course, I'm not the oracle here.
Sex is the ultimate level of intimacy and human encounter, and popular culture debased it to something like "just take the pill" or "put it on." When responsibility is not in a relationship, the relationship loses its weight and, accordingly its value, wouldn't you say?
I've seen happy couples in long-term relationships in which the woman was older. In fact, that would be the logical step, because women usually mature earlier (girls at 12 seem to dumb themselves down in order to appeal to immature boys); well, there are always exceptions. :)
As for the sexual part, nature created man to be a bit more voluptuous even after all those happy years (women peak at 30, but men keep going on like the Energizer Bunny :) ), and if it was mostly sex that held a relationship together, it's unlikely to last...
As for your saying, "be open to everything, maybe someone you wouldn’t normally think of dating," it's words of wisdom. It took me a year to kiss my wife and I could imagine anyone else for me. :)
>>I know one thing. If a woman makes a pass at a man and the man refuses, “There is no fury in hell >>like a woman scorned.” He is likely to have an enemy for the rest of his life.
LOL - Not true. I've been turned down a few times and it's not that big of a deal - just a fact of life that not everyone you find attractive will feel the same way. Better to take your chances & just ask than to always wonder "what if". If the answer is a polite no thanks, then no harm & no foul - them's the breaks :)
You are right. It's fine if they never meet again, but a lot seems to depend on their level of maturity, too. If the woman lacks self-respect and looks for it in a relationship or she is manipulative, that's bad for both parties, but mostly likely especially for the man (not that it was not bad to begin with). :)
No, this is not a personal problem for me; never been, but maybe because I didn't notice or I didn't care. Frankly, I dunno.
Thank you for the instructions! That was invaluable! I'm probably too young for my age, but I'm only a man of your age. :)
You are absolutely right, and I am jealous of languages that do not assign sex to humans (my mother's Hungarian is one of the few) or even to G*d.
Sorry, no way can I watch a video for 1:53 minutes. Please, give me the essence. As for the Bechamp/Pasteur controversy, Bechamp was obviously better, but he was not a saint, either.
A year ago, I used to think that disproving Germ Theory would stop the plandemic. It didn't and it won't. In fact, the WHO is now being weaponized against the world's population...
My take on it is in my flagship article on what makes people sick:
I have an anecdote about that (I don't know how much of it is true, but it sounds good).
When the phone became available, they told Freud (Fraud? :) ) that, "Look, professor, here is this device by using it, two persons from 200 miles can understand each other." Freud just thought it over and said, "Gentlemen, that is not a miracle. It is miracle when two humans can understand each other at all."
When two people are from the same culture, culturally-specific implications can work most of the time, and not much talk is needed. ESP also exists on occasion, so I can't see a general formula. :)
Yes, it is, and connecting does exist, but only between people who accept who they are. I love silence (as opposed to having been a "Professor"). Moreover, in my experience, there is a space, where people can be together without time. My father, for one, told my mother that his mother had died, and the telegram arrive a couple of hours later... My mother also had her (plentiful) share in what "science" cannot explain, but it was always true and verified.
There are men I would like to be a companion with, but they want "extra benefits" which I don't want to share with them. I find it kind of sad. Would love the male companionship, just not that other stuff.,
I have experienced the scorned woman for avoiding her initiations. It's like refuse them and you automatically become an outcast to be thrown off the planet. There may be many reasons for delaying engagement at that particular time. But for many women, it's now or never when they come after your attention. Yet, a man is supposed to take rejection after rejection and never complain.
Doesn't matter now. I'm too old to worry about these things. Besides, my S/O deserves my full attention.
So let me raise a point in regards to man and to woman and children and ancestors and relatives living close in proximity which is simply https://www.themusicallyrics.com/f/371-fiddler-on-the-roof-the-musical-lyrics/4062-tradition-lyrics-fiddler-on-the-roof.html
And: The term “romantic love” seems to have been coined by 19th century literary critic Gaston Paris to denote a particular constellation of attitudes and patterns of behavior that characterized a body of literature arising in Provence in the 12th century (Paris, 1883). Amour courtois (Courtly love) had the following general attributes: an elevation of the status of the woman, a suffering caused by passionate attraction to and separation from the beloved, and a transformation of the lovers which elevates them onto a separate plane of existence, the world of lovers, in which life is experienced more intensely (Paris, 1883). Originally considered a uniquely European phenomenon (Doi, 1973; Hsu, 1985; Stone, 1989), more recent research has shown precursors and analogues of romantic love in Plato’s dialogues, Islamic culture, and ancient Indian writings.
In current scholarship romantic love sounds like a fuzzy concept that is used in literature in broad meaning, being often replaced by passionate love and sexual attraction as synonyms. They all have a lot in common, but still are different. They have to be distinguished for the question of cross-cultural universality of romantic love. Romantic love is the form of love that is most salient in public view, but it has different subcategories; some of them are related to sexual love. Sexuality is not identical with love; however it can become one of the ways that love is experienced and expressed in relationships.
The notion of romantic love as a mixture of sexual desire and affection is paramount in Havelock Ellis’ many-volumes Study in the Psychology of Sex (1897-1928). Ellis concluded that the love is best viewed as a mixture of lust and friendship which includes tenderness and affection. He views romantic love as more than just sexual desire, although he found sexual desire to be an important part of romantic love (1933/1963, p. 234).
Rapson, 2005; Hatfield, Rapson, & Martel, 2007).) Jankowiak, 1995)
Fisher, 2004; Hatfield & Ellis, 1960; Fromm, 1956;
Romantic love is closely related to sexual attraction (
; however it is a form of love that is
different from mere needs driven by sexual desire, or lust (
. Romantic love generally involves a mix of emotional and sexual desire:
emotional highs, exhilaration, passion, and elation. Romantic love is passionate, but the
passion itself is not the only feature of this type of love. Romanceis the fanciful,
expressive and pleasurable feeling from an emotional attraction towards another person.
There is often more emphasis on the emotions than on physical pleasure. According to
dictionaries, romantic love is characterized by strong affection and preoccupation with
love, unrealistic and idealistic attitude toward a partner, and the feeling that l’amour
toujours (French) – love forever that never ends and is always there (e.g., http://dictionary.
reference.com/browse/romantic, http://www.thefreedictionary.com/Romance+(love),
Casually mention his partner, Bruce?
Ouch, who is Bruce?
Lmao. Seriously? Any woman so insecure as to be incapable of surmounting a civil rejection probably has the emotional stability of Alex “I will not be ignored, Dan!” Forrest and the sooner the discouragement, the better. Subscribe to my Substack
https://doesnotplaywellwithothers.substack.com
Can you, please, direct me to a specific article?
It’s merely a mercenary signature ad. But if in the market for a starter kit - or some pound of flesh - one can visit this consolidating grievance piece:
https://doesnotplaywellwithothers.substack.com/p/on-the-import-of-being-an-equal-opportunity
From the comments below I can see now why it's all messed up.
Everything in this whole wide world is messed up by humans. :)
So, what's the news?
Are you always redundant?
My late husband was from a family of 12. Apart from 3 sons who left their country young, all marriages were arranged and they're all still going strong. I'm from family of 6 and only 2 of the marriages survived. It's also much easier in a muslim family for a man to find a wife even if he's got very little going for him. Just an observation.
If people who love both parties arrange the marriage, they can offer lot better advice than the ones currently "in love." I'm not an expert on Muslim marriages.
My “rule”: Let men be men. I think some women forget that. I refuse to ever ask a man out.
Sometimes it is a challenge to understand what a "man is," even if one is a "biologist." :)
Just pulling your leg. :)
I’ve worked with men my entire life. I never had a problem. I’m an ex-Teamster and retired deputy sheriff. I retired (forced) two years ago. Men and women need to understand one another. No one is right or wrong. We simply see things differently. And it’s frustrating sometimes! Women think men don’t care (they do in their own way), and men think women are all crazy (they are).
Just pulling your leg! Lol!
A strong woman. :)
#1. Marry early. #2Create a persona that precludes women from approaching him. Become unapproachable
Marrying early is the old recipe that worked well in stable environments. I can still remember the first little girl I immediately fell into love with, and I know myself; I would have never abandoned her, but her jealous girlfriend took us away from each other. Granted, I was EXTREMELY immature at 19, and I probably need another 190 years to go, but that's all right by now.
However, women need stability (it's biological, unless I'm mistaken), and in today's world, anything can change in five minutes. I realize that's a different story.
Your #2 is apparently what I've always practiced without knowing it. Thank you for helping me out! :)
My dad married my mom when he was 19 and she was 20. They just celebrated 50 years together last week.
Good to hear about a happy marriage. My mom even a week before she died, declared her love for my dad who had passed away 27 years before...
Thank you, corrected. I have a morbid memory about that. At one point, I used to pass a cemetery, and a huge tombstone rose above the wall, with a single word etched on it, "Deady."
THE MAN!!!! If you’re attracted to a woman, flirt with her, compliment her...it’s not rocket science! Nature takes care of the rest.
I feel so sorry for the last couple of generations, sometimes.
And be open to everything, maybe someone you wouldn’t normally think of dating.
I’m older than he is. It’s not about age, necessarily. We celebrated our 8 year anniversary in May. If I knew how old he was, I may not have gone out with him.
I’m immature and he’s mature...great balance! Lol!
Last few generations, definitely. As I said, the dilution of the conditions for a realistic connubial bliss may have started a lot earlier.
Of course, I'm not the oracle here.
Sex is the ultimate level of intimacy and human encounter, and popular culture debased it to something like "just take the pill" or "put it on." When responsibility is not in a relationship, the relationship loses its weight and, accordingly its value, wouldn't you say?
I've seen happy couples in long-term relationships in which the woman was older. In fact, that would be the logical step, because women usually mature earlier (girls at 12 seem to dumb themselves down in order to appeal to immature boys); well, there are always exceptions. :)
As for the sexual part, nature created man to be a bit more voluptuous even after all those happy years (women peak at 30, but men keep going on like the Energizer Bunny :) ), and if it was mostly sex that held a relationship together, it's unlikely to last...
As for your saying, "be open to everything, maybe someone you wouldn’t normally think of dating," it's words of wisdom. It took me a year to kiss my wife and I could imagine anyone else for me. :)
>>I know one thing. If a woman makes a pass at a man and the man refuses, “There is no fury in hell >>like a woman scorned.” He is likely to have an enemy for the rest of his life.
LOL - Not true. I've been turned down a few times and it's not that big of a deal - just a fact of life that not everyone you find attractive will feel the same way. Better to take your chances & just ask than to always wonder "what if". If the answer is a polite no thanks, then no harm & no foul - them's the breaks :)
You are SPECIAL!
It looks like I must correct myself; it seems I'm talking about women with little self-respect or ulterior motives. :)
You are right. It's fine if they never meet again, but a lot seems to depend on their level of maturity, too. If the woman lacks self-respect and looks for it in a relationship or she is manipulative, that's bad for both parties, but mostly likely especially for the man (not that it was not bad to begin with). :)
No, this is not a personal problem for me; never been, but maybe because I didn't notice or I didn't care. Frankly, I dunno.
Thank you for the instructions! That was invaluable! I'm probably too young for my age, but I'm only a man of your age. :)
My words come from a secret: trying to bring people together who want to talk to each other. :)
You are absolutely right, and I am jealous of languages that do not assign sex to humans (my mother's Hungarian is one of the few) or even to G*d.
Sorry, no way can I watch a video for 1:53 minutes. Please, give me the essence. As for the Bechamp/Pasteur controversy, Bechamp was obviously better, but he was not a saint, either.
A year ago, I used to think that disproving Germ Theory would stop the plandemic. It didn't and it won't. In fact, the WHO is now being weaponized against the world's population...
My take on it is in my flagship article on what makes people sick:
https://rayhorvaththesource.substack.com/p/what-makes-people-sick-apart-from
exactly
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=sHHLBXWcTPk
Yes, women can understand men, but men need the mystery.
As the old joke goes,
"What does a woman have to do to make a man happy?"
"Understand him a lot and love him a little."
"What does a man have to do to make a woman happy?"
"Love her a lot and not even try to understand her."
https://youtu.be/ZhVSfIf-Kng
This cracks me UP! I’m not sure if you’ve seen it. It’s been around awhile.
I have an anecdote about that (I don't know how much of it is true, but it sounds good).
When the phone became available, they told Freud (Fraud? :) ) that, "Look, professor, here is this device by using it, two persons from 200 miles can understand each other." Freud just thought it over and said, "Gentlemen, that is not a miracle. It is miracle when two humans can understand each other at all."
When two people are from the same culture, culturally-specific implications can work most of the time, and not much talk is needed. ESP also exists on occasion, so I can't see a general formula. :)
Yes, it is, and connecting does exist, but only between people who accept who they are. I love silence (as opposed to having been a "Professor"). Moreover, in my experience, there is a space, where people can be together without time. My father, for one, told my mother that his mother had died, and the telegram arrive a couple of hours later... My mother also had her (plentiful) share in what "science" cannot explain, but it was always true and verified.
Life itself is a miracle. Why does it exist?