News for April's Fools: Putin Banned 5G Towers

And many seem to have been born yesterday

News for April’s Fools

When I read 2nd’s report this morning, I thought it was a joke:

Putin Bans 5G Across Russia, Destroys All Towers

(The article is now deleted, possibly as a result of my present article; 2nd must have realized he was making a fool out of himself and, worse, of his readers. He is still publishing plenty of fake news and limited hangouts for your entertainment.)

I checked the calendar, and it’s not April 1st, so I started looking. Still, my reaction was not far from the truth. First, I noticed that 2nd’s writing is identical with one from yesterday published on Real Raw News by Michael Baxter, who is also credited with the authorship of 2nd’s piece:

https://realrawnews.com/2023/08/putin-bans-5g-across-russia-destroys-all-towers/

It turns out Michael Baxter is the only author on his site, and the site carries a disclaimer:

Disclaimer:

Information on this website is for informational and educational and entertainment purposes. This website contains humor, parody, and satire. We have included this disclaimer for our protection, on the advice on legal counsel.

Baxter’s article has also been circulating on the Internet ever since, but he remains the only source of the prank.

The prank becomes obvious after you read this part of the article about Putin’s behavior:

His mandate wasn’t well-received by the Telecom executives. MTS Vice President of 5G Infrastructure Borya Vlasov said the absence of 5G would put Russia at a technological disadvantage, adding that Russia needed 5G to strengthen a once-thriving economy now faltering thanks to Putin’s actions in Ukraine. Putin spread images of the dead and sick children on a conference table, reportedly saying, “What about them? What has your 5G done to them?”

“We can’t blame 5G for this. Our comrades in the West agree that 5G is safe,” Vlasov said.

Putin ordered the security agent beside him to shoot Vlasov squarely between the eyes. Without hesitation, the agent drew his Makarov pistol and put a bullet in Vlasov’s forehead in full view of 15 people.

Realistically, what can you expect from Putin?

https://rayhorvaththesource.substack.com/p/whose-hero-is-putin

Putin is in the club and you ain’t in it.

So, what about 5G in Russia?

In 2019, The Moscow Times reported that President Putin relegated 5GT technology to military use. The range was also limited to 3.4-3.8GHz, which is barely worse than 4G:

https://www.themoscowtimes.com/2019/08/15/putin-reserves-key-5g-frequency-for-military-use-media-reports-a66887

Baxter doesn’t name a source, but articulates that “Health Minister Mikhail Murashko, with the aid of the Ministry of Defense, ordered an inspection team to evaluate transmission frequencies emanating from the cell tower, which, they deduced, pulsed electromagnetic waves in the 24-50 gigahertz range.” In that range, 5G does kill; over 30GHz slowly, and above 45GHz fast.

5G technology and its cousins

Radiation comes in from multiple sources and exposure varies:

Apparently, after daisy-chaining 6G in “smart” meters, the same method is being deployed in home routers, so with enough such coverage, there is no need for 5G towers:

After all, every “smart” device, including the humans injected with the nanobots, are part of the Internet of Things (IoT).

Conclusion

The “news” must have been probing “alt” readers’ credulity. The Substack article also bear witness to the sense of humor and connection to reality of a few authors and readers.